Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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