I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
