I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
