i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
