The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
