Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
