$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
