It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
