Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
