I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
