I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
