well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
