I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
