Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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