it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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