yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
