Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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