Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
pray to the hookup gods
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
