My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
