it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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