im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
