I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
