So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
