I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
