I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
