No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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