I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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