she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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