i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
