I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
