Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
