you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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