How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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