Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
