Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
