Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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