Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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