Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Randomize
