Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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