Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
