Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
