Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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