Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
