Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
