wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
