I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
