you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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