***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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