I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
