Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
